The night before

Last Wednesday Morning I had my fourth brain surgery to remove a recurrent brain tumor. I've come to realize that walking through trials in a faithful way is a way that we can serve others in the body of Christ as fellow believers (2 Cor 1:4) and to be salt and light to the world . I wanted to post something on suffering, yet as we were coming up to the day of surgery nothing new was given me.

I had absolute peace and confidence in God's work in my life. I did feel confident that what was happening was for His glory, was for good, for a reason, and in His control. The Friday before I did have a short struggle and time of fear and doubt, but some good friends came and prayed for me on Sunday. In that moment of powerful prayer, I felt equipped for going forward to whatever end. God works through people, and I have learned to lean heavily on those around me for help. 

In preparation Tuesday night, in his kindness God's Spirit brought an passage to my mind.  The Spirit speaks through His Word. He will use it to strengthen and encourage you. 

Joshua 6:13-15
When Joshua was by Jericho, he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, a man was standing before him with his drawn sword in his hand. And Joshua went to him and said to him, "Are you for us, or for our adversaries?" And he said, "No; but I am the commander of the army of the LORD. Now I have come." And Joshua fell on his face to the earth and worshiped and said to him, "What does my lord say to his servant?" And the commander of the LORD’s army said to Joshua, "Take off your sandals from your feet, for the place where you are standing is holy." And Joshua did so.

This passage doesn't exhort the church body as a whole, but it met my heart Tuesday night, because in it I saw God giving His plan to take over Jericho to Joshua. That victory then would be His victory. His victory in His way. Joshua was along for the ride. In a like way, His Spirit communicated to my heart that I could lean on Him for this victory. By God's grace, I was sitting up in bed, talking a mere three hours after the surgery. And although I have a significant headache from typing this, I am sitting at this keyboard six days later, at home having typed this out. Thanks be to the Lord. We still await the results of the biopsy and appreciate your prayers, but are confident in the Lord's grace no matter the outcome.


Matt

The true "Christmas spirit" (quote from JI Packer)

We talk glibly of the "Christmas spirit," rarely meaning more by this than sentimental jollity on a family basis. But what we have said makes it clear that the phrase should in fact carry a tremendous weight of meaning. It ought to mean the reproducing in human lives of the temper of him who for our sakes became poor at the first Christmas. And the Christmas spirit itself ought to be the mark of every Christian all the year round.

It is our shame and disgrace today that so many Christians - I will be more specific: so many of the soundest and most orthodox Christians - go through this world in the spirit of the priest and the Levite in our Lord's parable, seeing human needs all around them, but (after a pious wish, and perhaps a prayer, that the Lord might meet those needs) averting their eyes and passing by on the other side. That is not the Christmas spirit. Nor is it the spirit of those Christians - alas, they are many - whose ambition in life seems limited to building a nice middle-class Christian home, and making nice middle-class Christian friends, and bringing up their children in nice-middle class Christian ways, and who leave the submiddle-class sections of the community, Christian and non-Christian, to get on by themselves.

The Christmas spirit does not shine out in the Christian snob. For the Christian spirit is the spirit of those who, like their Master, live their whole lives on the principle of making themselves poor - spending and being spent - to enrich their fellow humans, giving time, trouble, care and concern, to do good to others - and not just their own friends - in whatever way there seems need.

-- J.I. Packer, Knowing God, pp. 63-64

2 Cor 8:9 - For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.

Phillipians 2:5 - Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus

Grace Through Others

It is amazing how the realities in life can cause us to pause. Where we turn at those times IS important. We’re told to:

1. Cast all your anxiety on Him (1 Peter 5:7, Ps. 55:22)
2. Carry each others burdens (Gal. 6:2) 
3. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn (Rom. 12:15).

Identifying with our brothers and sisters is only part of helping them. I often resist growing. I wanted to use this opportunity to show how in my weakness God has used others to help me grow. The outpouring of responses to a simple request for help was an amazing thing.

Here's God at work through a few of the notes from my dear friends... I was amazed as I read Romans 12 this morning and saw how God has designed the body to work and then compared how these emails came together in a harmony of members. Some people were bringing Scripture to bear in real, thought provoking ways; some "I'm there with you;" some identifying and exhorting; but all were members working together for edification. It was truly God at work. I close with my response to my dear friends. Realize that this is all to show my true weakness and God's true greatness at work... 

--

Guys, 

Wanted to request your prayers in a specific way and especially during the next few weeks. As I approach my quarterly scan and MRI, I've internally noticed tension mounting.  We've noticed that my large seizures have "tended" to occur at two to three month cycles and Helen, I, and the Dr.'s feel that stress associated with the MRI may have a part to play in this. Even though I've always been fairly mild in temperament, I've noticed that inside I'm carrying a lot of tension. I can't seem to let it go. I would appreciate prayer in casting my cares... Any Scriptures or thoughts that the Spirit brings to mind would be appreciated.

--

One Scripture that comes to mind is Rom. 5:1-2 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Through Him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand, and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.

[...] May the Lord fill you with joy in the work that God is doing in your children and the grace that is in your wife’s life that she would serve another while she is in need!

I will pray that the Holy Spirit would fill you with peace in the knowledge of the Father’s Love and the gift of His Son Jesus Christ.

--

Thank you for asking...we love to pray for you and your family. 

I was praying for you this morning, as my devotions led me through Psalm 6:3, “My soul also is greatly troubled.  But you, O LORD,--how long?”...David goes on to write, “The LORD has heard the sound of my weeping.  The LORD has heard my plea; the LORD accepts my prayer.”

I will be praying for you, that you find grace to cast your cares on the Lord.  It is no small challenge to bear what you are bearing, so pour out your heart to God...daily.  And we’ll pray for that peace which transcends understanding to come and to guard your heart and mind.  That Philippians 4 passage commands us to pray “supplications with thanksgiving”.  As I was praying for you this morning, I was also thanking God for the salvation you have, the doctors he’s given you, the godliness in your kids, the support of your wife...

Keep pouring out your heart to God, with thanksgiving, comforting your mind with his consistent faithfulness.

Small reminder, but I hope it encourages you. Love ya brother and I am praying.

--

We feel the same, bro - and specific requests like this help us to direct our prayers, so thanks for that!

A few verses that came to mind for you---though familiar, I trust they are no less encouraging:

From Isaiah 40:27-31 [He placed emphasis on the first two lines of 31]

From Philippians 4:6-9 [He placed emphasis on 6 and the end of 9] 

God Himself renews our strength, guards our hearts and minds, and is with us.  What a faithful high priest we have, who is able to sympathize with us in our weaknesses (Heb 4:14-16) and has compassion on us, for He knows how we are made, and remembers that we are dust (Psalm 103:13-14). 

Praying for you with faith and joy, my friend. 

--

I’m praying for you brother...it pains me to hear the burden you and Helen are carrying and I so wish there was more I could do to bear it with you.  You’d let me know, right? 

Isaiah 26:3-4 has always been a place where I find strength and grace to continue to trust when anxious or fearful.  Our God, Jehovah, is our Rock and will keep us in perfect peace as we keep our minds fixed on Him.  It’s understandable that you find yourself anxious about circumstances but as you keep your gaze fixed on your Heavenly Father you’ll find yourself less inclined to worry.

It’s good to worship a God who is greater than everything...love you brother and haven’t stopped praying for you.

--

I'll be praying for you my friend.  For me, I find I can be anxious about everything and know that it is only the grace of God that He protects my mind from going down trails.  I'll pray that for you - that you'll experience extended times of not thinking about it!

--

Not the quickest response to your email but my family and I have been regularly praying for you.  In fact, I read your prayer request to my family at the end of our dinner the night I first received it and we all took the opportunity to pray for you at that time.  My whole family just loves you and your family. [...]  In any case, as one who has had his share of various scans, I have a pretty good idea as to how you are processing your upcoming scan.  The battle for me was right between my ears and basically it was a trust issue as to whether God will really supply the grace needed to get me through.  Your upcoming scan is not outside of the circle of God's Grace.  Now a couple of verses that I found helpful.  Luke 12:22-31.  What I got from this, is that my needs had always been met in the past and that I had enough for today.  But there was always that uneasy dread that tomorrow my well may run dry. However my imagined thirst of tomorrow, even though my well is full today, was one thirst that was unquenchable.  The imaginary need of tomorrow is one need that God can not meet. However, his Grace will be sufficient to meet you in your time of need. (Heb 4:16). Two other verses that were comforting to me are; Isaiah 26:3 and Psalm 62:5-8. I am sure you are familiar with these verses but I encourage you to continue preaching them to yourself so when Satan comes to try to tell you that God is not enough, you can proclaim the word of God and take away his sting. I won't kid you Matt, you are not in an easy battle. Some days I fought a good fight and others days I gave into Satan’s lies and wallowed in worry and anxiety.  I will continue to be fervently praying for you. God bless you brother. I am here for you and your family so please do keep me posted on how you are doing.

--

This is a favorite of mine from Calvin on Psalm 12:6, a psalm by David written in the fires of adversity:

“There is no truth which is more generally received among men than that God is true; but there are a few who frankly give him credit for this when they are in adversity. It is, therefore, highly necessary for us to cut off the occasion of our distrust; and whenever any doubt respecting the faithfulness of God’s promises steal in upon us, we ought immediately to lift up against it this shield, that the words of the Lord are pure.”

Thank you for being among the few who give God credit in adversity. In moments of temptation today, may you find grace “cut off the occasion (reason/cause) of your distrust” and to lift up the shield of faith.  All of your God and Savior’s words are pure, all of his promises are true for you.

--

Guys,

Want to update all who've uplifted Helen and I through the last couple of weeks (and I KNOW year or two in reality). The scan was clean for which we are grateful, of course. But had it not been our hearts were prepared and ready to go forward in the knowledge that God is on the throne and "every square inch" is under His control. The purposes for some of these things are now cloudy and hard to understand, but in the end they will be demonstrated to have been for His glory. As we had some precious time talking yesterday, we both realized that walking through this has been for our good. 1 Peter 4:12 says that we are not to "be surprised..." if our faith is tested, the end result is that we are grown. Hebrews tells us that Jesus is the Author and Perfecter of our faith. Well the Author that started the work determined that Matt was a weak Christian that needed to grow through the use of trial. :) That is the blunt fact of the matter. I consider this small trial a true gift as it is a faith strengthening exercise that I would NOT GROW in specific ways without.

Anyway, the real update I want to send is that your prayers were incredibly effective! There was no stress or tension the last two weeks leading up to this MRI. Some of the side effects that I was carrying dropped away. I was considering calling the Dr. to get a prescription for a medication for something to help and by God's grace through your prayer did not have to.

Thanks so much,

Matt

What is Thy Only Comfort?

Question 1. What is thy only comfort in life and death?


 Answer: That I with body and soul, both in life and death, (a) am not my own, (b) but belong unto my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ; (c) who, with his precious blood, has fully satisfied for all my sins, (d) and delivered me from all the power of the devil; (e) and so preserves me (f) that without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head; (g) yea, that all things must be subservient to my salvation, (h) and therefore, by his Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life, (i) and makes me sincerely willing and ready, henceforth, to live unto him. (j)


 (a) Rom.14:7 For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself. Rom.14:8 For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's.


(b) 1 Cor.6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?


(c) 1 Cor.3:23 And ye are Christ's; and Christ is God's. Tit.2:14 Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.


(d) 1 Pet.1:18 Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; 1 Pet.1:19 But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot: 1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. 1 John 2:2 And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world. 1 John 2:12 I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for his name's sake.


(e) Heb.2:14 Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same; that through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil; 1 John 3:8 He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil. John 8:34 Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin. John 8:35 And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: but the Son abideth ever. John 8:36 If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.


(f) John 6:39 And this is the Father's will which hath sent me, that of all which he hath given me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up again at the last day. John 10:28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. 2 Thess.3:3 But the Lord is faithful, who shall stablish you, and keep you from evil. 1 Pet.1:5 Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.


(g) Matt.10:29 Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. Matt.10:30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Matt.10:31 Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows. Luke 21:18 But there shall not an hair of your head perish.


(h) Rom.8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.


(i) 2 Cor.1:20 For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us. 2 Cor.1:21 Now he which stablisheth us with you in Christ, and hath anointed us, is God; 2 Cor.1:22 Who hath also sealed us, and given the earnest of the Spirit in our hearts. 2 Cor.5:5 Now he that hath wrought us for the selfsame thing is God, who also hath given unto us the earnest of the Spirit. Eph.1:13 In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, Eph.1:14 Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory. Rom.8:16 The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:


(j) Rom.8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. 1 John 3:3 And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure.




http://www.reformed.org/documents/index.html?mainframe=http://www.reformed.org/documents/heidelberg.html

Jesus' example in the middle of the Greatest Trial

Psalm 22:22 - I will declare your name to my brothers; in the congregation I will praise you.

I have been HUGELY encouraged by studying Hebrews the last few weeks. There is a verse in chapter two that talks of the immense privilege we are given as our Perfect High Priest becomes a Brother that fully identifies with our weakness.

He says,
"I will declare your name to my brothers;
in the presence of the congregation I will sing your praises." Heb. 2:22

The footnote tells us that this is from Psalm 22.

Both Matthew 27 and Mark 15 tell us that in the midst of Jesus work on the cross he cried out "My God, My God why have you forsaken me." Jesus was not the first person to say this, He was actually quoting from the Psalm 22. Christ was thinking on this psalm. Hebrews 12:2 also tells us that he was looking past the cross toward another joy.

Hebrews 12:2 - "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame..."

Reading this Psalm with these thoughts in mind gives a new depth to experiencing the 22 Psalm, but even more importantly it gives an example for us to follow in trial. The Example to follow is that of Christ.

Look to God's Word, His promises, and a future joy. Even at the the darkest time, call out to Him.

Psalm 22 doesn't end in darkness. The darkness opens to beautiful light. I encourage you to read it and see one of the Scriptures in Jesus' mind on the Cross as He anticipated His completed work.

Highly, highly recommended...

Very few books have caused me to stop and question myself like this one! I needed to. Very appreciated and corrective.

One chapter preview from WTSbooks

Finished a thought

Here...

My search for a calling

Finding a calling has always been a particular struggle for me. I know of many who can identify but a few who don't... I am trying to learn from those who are walking faithful to their call.

When I use the word call, I realize of course that some people have no idea what I'm talking about, whereas some understand immediately. "Call" to me has a couple of facets. First a call always identifies a life purpose. To get to the end and have lived with meaning. A second layer to that is that is that it often can be attached to a career or vocation.

When I was 5 I wanted to be a NFL player and at 15 a missionary pilot and I knew without a doubt what I vocationally wanted to do with life. Of course, I was a terrible athlete, and God had other ideas. When I was 30, I knew again... But God again has other plans or timing.

What I've realized is that it is often in my pride that I assume I know the best plan for my life. We are created for one purpose. That is to be beacons of light, salt of the earth, God glorifiers now and through eternity. When I decide what the best plan for my life is and am unwilling to let it go, I show my self to be proud. I classify myself with those in Jas. 4:13-17.

Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.

I guess the hard part for me to deal with came in when life seems to start falling apart. Dreams get pried away one at a time. Abilities begin eroding (or at least temporarily fading).

How are we to find a calling at this point? Simply put, this calls for a return to the basics. What is the calling of all Christians? To be salt, light, glorifiers, and worshipers. Perhaps you're in a time of "calling confusion". We can find joy and calling in returning to these basics.

My hope for this time God has our family in is that as each door that I would love to pursue closes, I have found peace in one immediate calling:

I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. - Rev. 4:8

And because of this, I can say with Job...

I know that my Redeemer lives,
and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.
And after my skin has been destroyed,
yet in my flesh I will see God;
I myself will see him
with my own eyes—I, and not another.
How my heart yearns within me! - Job 19:25-27

I found peace in walking through extended life suffering BECAUSE God is the One who ordains and ordered my path. He opened and closed the doors ahead of me. My calling for this season is to glorify Him through all possible means at my disposal. This calling will last through the rest of my time here on earth which is as James says "a mist." I'm in my calling and at peace. Now to be faithful...

When life is easy and all goes along as you planned it's seems easy to "go along" with "God's calling." Perhaps it is truly God's calling, I'm not criticizing those who find themselves on a "easy path."

God may call us to a path that is not the one we would naturally choose. In fact, He has as Mark 8:34b-35 says so well,

If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.

Chan observes, "Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers."

My challenge to you folks is that following God's call will be harder than mine as it entails more discernment and care not to stumble over the many temptations that can entangle you on the race.

2 Peter 1:5-9

Tough times are not the time that you want to be developing a robust theology. 2 Peter 1:5-9 says "...[M]ake every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins." I would encourage anybody I interact with who has a love for theology or desire to study, to grow while you can, as you don't know what lies ahead. I know that I am grateful for the truths on which I now stand and for those one whose shoulders I depend.

Faith, virtue, knowledge, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection, love.

I know that weeks and months like the past few show my faith to be weak, yet show our Savior to be strong, and show the body (His church) to be His instrument of love - primarily through my wife, lastly I'm so grateful that if we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself (1 Tim 2:13).

I've debated the helpfulness in journaling over the last

Six months and have deliberately not written as I have had significant struggles. Have you ever had trouble pushing through something? No, not just something hard, but something simple. Everybody is supposed to struggle when running a marathon. But were you supposed to struggle writing that last sentence? Not everybody gets to go through this one.

I was reading from my favorite series The Chronicles of Narnia to the kiddos last Saturday night... We're in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader. I like the book, not in my top three, but I like it a lot. Well, chapter 12 The Dark Island now has a special place in all our hearts.

Oddly enough, this is the verse that the family guide to Narnia had as the beginning of that chapter...

Job 4:12-14 "A word was secretly brought to me, my ears caught a whisper of it. Amid disquieting dreams in the night, when deep sleep falls on men, fear and trembling seized me and made all my bones shake."

Lucy is fearful as they enter into a dark and mysterious misty island, which they find to be an island where nightmares come true. When they try to escape, they row in vain. At the point when all seems lost,

Lucy whispered, "Aslan, Aslan, If you ever loved us at all, send us help now." The darkness did not grow any less, but she began to feel a little - a very, very little better.

At this point an albatross comes and lights the ship with radient lights, whispers words of comfort to her alone, and leads them from the darkness.

Also, at this point, I go into an episode which effectively ends my reading for the night and traumatizes my three and four year old for a day. They get over stuff so fast (I'm so grateful for that!) My son Hudson and daughter Emma were regular EMT staff and took care of the rest by getting the help necessary. We are blessed by great neighbors and friends. Thanks to Dave and Jen, Brian and Kristin, Isaac, Ed, Mike, Ken, and the Laytonsville FD.

We were able to put these connections together between the story in the book and Christ and his nearness to all of us who are going through suffering in whatever form it may take. For my kids, it may just be a bad dream at night, or a mean neighbor. For me, it may be a time of physical pain, dreading an upcoming medical test, or pushing through another week of medication. For my dearest wife she has to put up with all of us(which is by far the hardest job) and exhort through it all! We thought it cool enough to share with anyone else who might want to read it.

Matt