Grace found!

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor 12:7-10)

Well every journey has twists and turns. Imagine you're driving along a familiar road, but are driving a new section in it; you knew where it started and know where it ends. Suddenly a sharp turn appears that makes you wonder if you're on the right road. So it is with this past week for me. In keeping with the spirit of this blog, I am sharing a little bit more of my journey - including the twists and turns. Yesterday I had a grand mal seizure, now this is nothing new and suprising to me, but part of my history. Almost ten years ago I had a tumor removed, seven years later it grew back and was removed a second time. In both cases seizure activity were symptomatic of the tumor. God in his goodness allowed the tumor to be successfully removed again the second time. Doctors have said that the possibility of regrowth is remote. After healing from this second surgery, I had been seizure free for a couple of years. Until I physically ran myself into the ground and had a seizure this past August. The neurologist chalked it up to sleep deprevation. Then yesterday another one hit, for no apparent reason.

My trials are very, very small when compared with what many other people are walking through. However, they are some of the circumstances and events that God has chosen in my spiritual formation. So this posting is meant to be a little introspection about this past event and a way to share what God is teaching me through it.

In talking with a guy here at church, I was sharing my struggle with fear over this issue, he encouraged me to look to God's word for a verse to stand on. The above verses are my platform. The reason I boast in my seizures is that it gives me a reliance on God that I would not have. And this draws me closer to Him. Self reliance so easily creeps into my life and this is a constant reminder of the fact that I am not in control. May my weakness accentuate the greatness of God as I continue to find his grace at work.

How the gospel transforms my journey

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. ( Hebrews 12:1-4)

 

I've only run in one official race (a wimpy 5k), since becoming an adult. When the race started, I was toward the front and began running along with all the others. What I didn't realize was that all the good runners go to the front and the rest of us need to be at the back. After getting to the halfway point, I realized that I was gassed and couldn't keep up the pace through the whole thing, so I had a bit of a breather and walked for a couple hundred yards before running again. Ran for a while, walked again, then began slowly running again. But then, rounding a corner, I saw the finish line. At that I felt a spurt of energy and finished off my race at a much faster pace than I had been running just seconds before.

 

This reminds me of the above words from Hebrews. The Scriptures and church history have given us a great group of runners who are setting an example of running the race at a strong pace. The motivating factor, however, is not the examples of those who are running in front and around us. It is found in fixing our eyes on the One who has crossed the finish line and set the ultimate example. Not only has he set the ultimate example, but he also is the prize. Our calling today is to fix our eyes on Him, throwing off all the distractions that the world will try to heap on and which we in our sinful short sightedness embrace. Our endurance (sanctification) is intricately linked with our comprehension of the gospel. The better we internalize and understand the gospel, the greater our endurance in this race. Unlike my 5k, this race is one of tremendous significance. 

Hebrews 2:10

In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering.

"There are many who are ready to tell us confidently what would and what would not be worthy of God; but in fact the only way to discover what is a worthy thing for God to do is to consider what God has actually done. The person who says, 'I could not have a high opinion of a God who would (or would not) do this or that,' is not adding anything to our knowledge of God; he is simply telling us something about himself. We may be sure that all that God does is worthy of himself, but here [the author of Hebrews] singles out one of God's actions and tells us that it was a fitting thing for him to do. And what was that? It was making Jesus, through his sufferings, perfectly qualified to be the Saviour of his people. It is in the passion [the death] of our Lord that we see the very heart of God laid bare; nowhere is God more fully or more worthily revealed as God than when we see him 'in Christ reconciling the world to himself' (2 Cor. 5:19)." - The Epistle to the Hebrews, F.F. Bruce, p. 80
 

The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more - Rom 5:20

Most of my journal/blog entries have been positive and exhortational moments. Right now, however, I am feeling less than spiritual. It's that feeling you get (or I get) when you feel like every responsibility that God has given you is overwhelming you. It's that feeling you get when your life situations reveal what your heart is really like and the view is somewhat like looking at roadkill that's been dead by the side of the road for a week!

 

Preaching only to myself here... The more I see of God and the more that His Word and Spirit reveal my true nature (sin increases), the more the wonderful grace of Christ increase. Indeed, it is only of His grace that I see my sin. It is by His grace that I am be delivered from the bonds of sin in this life. And it is by His grace that I will someday be fully and beautifully changed into His image.